The 26 List

As corny as it sounds, I believe John Lennon. It seems to be that way for me: I make plans and somehow at the end of the year, I look back and only a few of the things I’ve hoped to accomplish have come to fruition. It’s not for lack of trying or setting my mind to it but as is true with life, other things come up that need my attention or that challenge me and I try to never back down from a challenge. I’ve learned to go with the flow more, the importance of not having every moment of my day scheduled. But I often wonder, how in the world I will actually do all the things I’ve dreamed of accomplishing?

After reading Nilsa’s post on Life Goals, I realized that I am more of a small picture person which I like to think makes me more present in the now and perhaps explains why I like the Lennon quote so much. (Not to say I don’t think about my future because I do, but I want to enjoy the here and now and then enjoy later when I get to it.) Rather than making a Bucket List, I came up with a list of things I’d like to do to make my 26th year another great one. Some are life changes, other personal challenges and others are things that I’m amazed I haven’t yet tried.

Here they are, in no particular order:

* Run one 5k Race a month, preferably ones for a charity. (The hope is that I could work up to “bigger,” races as the year goes on.)

* Read at least seven books. One must be a memoir. Another historical non-fiction.

* Get down to my goal weight and stay there!

* Go fishing. Learn to bait a hook.

* Meet two more bloggy buddies.

* Start a real pen & paper journal.

* Volunteer 60 hours at the Rescue Ranch. I can’t wait to get started even though I know I’ll be working through bitter cold and sweltering heat.

* Cook one new dish and bake one new recipe a month. Ideally the bulk of the recipes would come from the old school cookbooks I’ve inherited from my Gram and the Martha Stewart Cupcake book.

* Take piano lessons (again).

* Travel to another baseball stadium, preferably the New York Yankees.

* Learn how to knit, courtesy of my Gram. First project: afghan.

* Finish that darn Masters of mine and leave formal schooling behind for good.

* Get back to nannying/babysitting. (I used to babysit all the time and lately I miss it.)

* Catch up on my scrapbooking/photo printing, sending pictures to the appropriate friends and family.

* Start Yoga and become a regular. This goes hand-in-hand with learning to meditate and getting to my goal weight and staying there.

Any recommendations for things that absolutely must be included in my list?

C’est La Vie

Following Tabitha’s lead it’s time for me to stop slacking and write a proper post. About Me (duh). Specifically, what’s new and what’s up with me:

* Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Two of my best friends brought me good news this week. One is moving in with her boyfriend this weekend which is a great next step for them. The other one called to say that she and her husband are taking a walk down Baby Lane. I literally did happy dances for both friends when I found out.

* I’m hooked on phonics. I have a book glued to my hand as much as possible. I’ve started taking one to work for the rare occasions I enjoy a “real” lunch hour, leave one stashed in my purse and have at least four ready-to-read books at Irish’s and a large pile at my parents.

* Follow your Feet. (Can anyone name what movie that line is from?) I haven’t posted a lot lately. The biggest reason is stress some of which is from work, some of which I bring upon myself. When I feel like that I don’t want to overshare or be a debbie downer, not to mention my creative juices are totally sucked out of me by the end of the day. Over the last few weeks I’ve been acutely aware of the fact that I can indeed control my stress and anxiety levels so I’m taking it one day at a time. I don’t make myself feel bad if a project takes longer than I thought or if something unexpected takes place. I make my daily to-do list in the morning, rather than the night before. The result: I’m sleeping better, planning less, thinking more positively and breathing easier. I’m just reminding myself to put one foot in front of the other and taking it one step/day at a time.

* Fall. It’s coming. Leaves are changing from green to yellow, orange and red. The mornings are crisp, car windows are fogged up and evenings call for sweatshirts and jeans. Jack is extra cuddly. Irish and I are making grand plans for the next few months (trip to Chicago, visit my best friend & her husband for a fall winery weekend, MU Homecoming and more). The social calendar is pleasantly filling up and I’ll be taking a look at my graduate school options too.

* Slim Gym. So my body, which is normally pretty cooperative, decided to get one whopper of a strep throat/sinus infection combo (which is 90% of the way gone now) and has killed my exercising efforts for the last two weeks. Starting next week I’m reorganizing my health & fitness goals. Irish and I are challenging each other, in the most friendliest of ways, to each give up one thing we know we enjoy a bit too much/too often. I’m going to the gym four days a week again and if I have time for more? Great. If not? I won’t make myself feel bad about it. I’m contemplating starting Bikram Yoga to help with the relaxation of the mind and body. I’m a bit behind on my 5k training as a result but I’m still going to give it a go in October especially because this particular 5k benefits the school one of my favorite kids that I used to watch. Above all, I’m going to remember to take it nice and slow. Change won’t happen over night, but attitudes can.

* Twenty Faux Birthday. My birthday is in less than three weeks.  I’ll be 26 on the 29th. I kind of want to hold onto to 25 because it’s been one hell of a year for me. I’m not really sure how I feel about this birthday; I have no big plans other than having a mini-party at my parents house with Wii games, beer and delicious dinner cooked by Darling. 26. Weird.

And no, I didn’t forget what today is. I just know that even eight years later I still can’t do what/how I felt (feel) justice in a post but suffice to say:

 

GiST 41/365

The only thing I don’t like Grace in Small Things Posts is I feel like they are kind of a cop out in a way. Not much of substance here, other than sharing with you the things that I have done/seen/said that made me feel good. Contemplating taking these offline and writing them in a daily journal instead.

1. Allowing my slightly addictive nature to indulge in Weeds, Season One and Two, within the last week. Irish = hooked as well. It’s a 30 minute show written so cleverly that you can’t help but want more.

2. Outdoor patios, strong margaritas, a handsome man (Irish), a new dress, and the best Mexican rice in town on a breezy Saturday evening.

3. Wandering around an old record store, packed floor-to-ceiling with records, 8-tracks, CDs, casettes, DVDs, record players, equipment and more for about an hour Saturday evening with Irish.

4. Finding my favorite Kanye West CD on vinyl… and Irish buying it so we could rock out to it.

5. Ted Drewe’s ice cream made even better when a local firehouse brought their truck and half their crew to get a sweet treat. They were kind enough to let kids climb in the rig (I learned that word from Rescue Me, which Irish and I are pretty sure real fireman either love or hate), get their pictures taken, and put their feet in the boots. A community at it’s best.

6. Nintendo DSi. I’m addicted.

7. Tylenol PM. It was the medicine that finally knocked out my migraine…. and let me sleep in until NOON on Sunday.

8. The gym. I feel at peace when I’m there, working out. Irish is going with me too, which is double the fun since he’ll send me kisses from across the cardio & weight room.

9. Clean clothes. My favorite household chore ever is laundry. I know, I’m a dork. While it stinks we have to go to a laundromat, we can get all of our loads done at the same time + the people watching is pretty fantastic. I will admit I can’t wait until the day when Irish and I have a house and our own laundry room.

10. The realization that I don’t have to go to class tonight.

11. Chatting with Liz. We’ve both been too busy lately to even email so it’s great to have my e/blog/real life buddy back.

12. Deciding to run a few 5ks this fall. And of course buying new running shoes for the endeavor + a pair of cute black Nine West heels because…well, just because.

13. Jack, for being especially cuddly lately.

My Summer Song

When on a Summer’s Morn

When on a summer’s morn I wake,
And open my two eyes,
Out to the clear, born-singing rills
My bird-like spirit flies.

To hear the Blackbird, Cuckoo, Thrush,
Or any bird in song;
And common leaves that hum all day
Without a throat or tongue.

And when Time strikes the hour for sleep,
Back in my room alone,
My heart has many a sweet bird’s song –
And one that’s all my own.

- William Henry Davis

I remember the years of summer days and nights that were endless: numerous sleepovers spent cutting out photos of the latest hot celebrities and taping them onto our binders for the next school year; hours spent on AOL IM; family vacations; floating in the pool; ignoring the “s” word as much as possible until after Labor Day.

I remember the time spent in college searching for internships, the perfect summer job; escaping to my parents for a break; relishing in my summer school classes like a dork;  dancing until all hours of the night; day dreaming about being a “real,” adult.

I remember the rude awakening post-graduation. No more summer breaks. Less freedom. More of my life tied to Corporate America and a steady paycheck. Somewhere between work, graduate school and other social events, I’ve lost my summer song.

Mandy declared this the “Summer of Me.”
Kyla has her summer dubbed “the Summer of Starting Over.”
I’m following suit and declaring this the summer I rediscover my song.

I’ve become too bogged down in the daily hum-drum time table I have indavertently grown accustomed to. Graduate school and 10-hour work days has sucked my creativity dry, my will to cook away, and a bit of my pizzazz has just poof! disappeared.

While I can’t change the fact that I’m working long hours, I can change other things, like my graduate school schedule, the number of social events I say yes to, the tasks I undertake.

I realize we are halfway through the summer – although I’m not entirely sure how that’s happened- but I’m going to work on finding my inner song. I had the song on repeat just before this last graduate school class but it was drowned out by all the theories, concepts, study questions and more over the last nine weeks.

I want to bake extravagant desserts for no reason. I want to experiment with new dishes in the kitchen. I want to blog more and fill up pages in my personal journal. I want to spend hours by the pool. I want to read a book in 24 hours because I can. I want to go on long walks with Jack and Irish. I want to kick my own ass at the gym on a more regular basis. I want to go on a spontaneous trip and plan a few others. I want to feel more inspired. I want to get back to doing the random sweet things for Irish. I want to send out more cards. I want to redecorate my rooms at my parents.

Things like graduate school and extra hours at the office can wait. As Kyla mentioned in her most recent post, it’s important to think about how much time we have left and what we’d like to spend it doing.

Yes, I do want my Masters, but I don’t need it NOW. It’s not going to change my job, my salary or any other aspect of my life other tha my pride and the space it takes up on my wall.

Yes, my friends are important to me, but I can’t keep giving all the time because at the end of the day, there has to be something left for me.

So while it may be belated,  I have until late September to enjoy my summer and find my summer song. And once I find it? I’ll learn to be better at carrying it with me through the rest of the year.

GiST 40/365

I had planned on putting together a well-thought out post about my recent declaration on the “Summer of Me,” largely inspired by many conversations I’ve been having with Mandy but life got in the way with mostly lovely things so today we’re going with a GiST theme:

1. Receiving very unexpected snail mail from a blog friend.

2. Making the best of a poopy situation (studying for a final during 80 degree, no-cloud, breezy weather) by taking Irish and myself to Bread Company for bagels and their outdoor patio.

3. Movies OnDemand through our cable provider.

4. Hosting an incredibly successful garage sale on Saturday morning.

5. Deciding to save the money earned as “fun money,” for either unusual dates or to put towards our fall trips.

6. A delicious plate of chicken nachos, over girl talk on Saturday night.

7. Laughing so hard I almost cried at least three different times during “The Ugly Truth.” Sure it’s a predictable chick flick but I liked it (probably becuase I’m a sucker for a romantic comedy).

8. Passing out on the couch at 11:30 pm Saturday night afer rising at 5am for the yard sale.

9. Beating Irish at Meteos, a Nintendo DS game (for the record, he beats me at most other games we play together.)

10. A lovely, hilarious email from Kyla that literally made my day.

11. Study breaks for “True Blood,” and “Hung.” on HBO Sundays.

12. The promise of a few calm weekends in my near future.

13. Irish taking care of Jack this morning for me since I had an early work fire to put out.

14. Quality time with my brother; he leaves for school soon and every moment counts.

And, I promise more regularly scheduled posting coming soon on topics such as: NOLA, the adjustment moving home, The Summer of Nora, and much more!

(Partial) Return

Back from a week-long work trip. It was a whirlwind working triple duty (all day meetings, working remotely at night and trying to be a good girlfriend to Irish who came along for the journey).

Was it great? Yes.
Stressful? Hell yes.
Did I manage to really see NOLA? Double check.

I’m rather swamped this week with more catch-up work, family coming to town, a garage sale and a final sweep of my apartment (my landlord has someone who wants to lease it before mine is up which means a money back in my pocket!) and oh, that pesky thing called school.

But I’m sure you are dying to hear about some of my trip to NOLA, so please check out the post I wrote for Mandy.

I will likely and shamefully be marking my reader “READ,” so please let me know what’s new with you, what posts I must read and know that I missed all of you much more than I thought possible.

(I have some great posts coming soon, I promise, so don’t abandon me yet, dear readers.)

June 2009 Recap

Current Book(s):
The Miracle at St. Anna by James McBride
(I just finished Julie & Julia by Julie Powell so that I can see the movie when it comes out.)

Current Music:
Dave Mattews Band: Big Whiskey & the Groogrux King
Maroon 5
Twilight Soundtrack

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:
Eddy’s Slow Churned Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

Current Colors:
Bright green
Brown
(not to wear, for decorative purposes only)

Current Obsessions:
Unpacking at my parent’s house
Felicity via Netflix. Currently on Season Three.

Current Drink:
Dr. Pepper Cherry
Water

Current Songs:
You & Me, Dave Matthews Band

Current Movie:
Anything mindless and girlie

Current TV Show:
True Blood
Clean House (I am addicted to the darn show)

Current Wish-List:
More vacation time
Being able to work from home more often

Current Needs:
SLEEP (Which is a recurring theme each time I do these recaps)
To sit down and send cards to friends and family

Current Triumph(s):
I’ve made it to the halfway mark in  my summer class!

Current Bane(s) of my Existence:
Unpacking.
Getting someone to take apart my futon & move it for me since the movers had no success with that

Current Goal(s):
Be completely settled at the ‘rents by August 1st
Plan a fall vacation with Irish
Schedule some much needed Nora-time

Current Indulgence:
Cheese.

Current Blessing:
Too many to count but here are a few: the temperature is not in the 100s. Work is busy which makes the day fly by. Jack is totally adorable when he plays with his stuffed animal toys (they even go with us on walks).  

Current Slang or Saying:
Oh really?

Current (Fav) Outfit:
My Anne Taylor Loft jeans, pretty much any top, paired with appropriate heels or flip-flops

Current Excitement:
New Orleans work trip/peppered with some fun starts this Friday
Halfway done with my grad class
Figuring out next grad school steps
Saving money since I’m no longer living in an apartment

Current Mood:
Happily fatigued

 

GiST 37-39/365

When there is a lot of sadness in the world I make sure I take note of all the Great Things going on around me. Today was a tough day for Hollywood and fans alike, so here are things that made me smile in the last few days…

1. Vanilla yogurt on sale, 2 for $1 at the grocery store. I love, love, love Vanilla Yogurt. Bonus: it’s the Weight Watchers brand so it’s double good for me, right?

2. Being able to call Darling during my lunch hour to act like a four-year old and tell her I needed a great big hug to deal with my great, big, sucky work day. She called me my childhood nicknames, told me she loved me and then we laughed over something silly and had a moment of silence for Farrah.

3. Having the cojones to deal with a tough work situation today, ensuring it worked out the way it needed to, and avoiding cursing like a sailor in the process.

4. My muscles are sore from a 2.5 mile run I did that involved a TON of hills. I love that feeling.

5. Wearing the new earrings Irish gave me for the 365 day mark; made out of bamboo and lightweight make them perfect for a day in the office.

6. Playing with Jack for 30 minutes and ignoring my homework and studies.

7. Setting up a coffee date with Nilsa for this weekend when she visits my town! She was one of the very first blogs I idolized and looked up to so it’s kind of like meeting a superstar.

8. A yummy dinner of buffalo chicken wraps, waffle fries and salad while watching Rescue Me on Hulu, with Irish next to me and Jack’s head on my knee.

9. Starting my midterm paper to discover it will be much easier than I anticipated. Bonus: It’s on Italy so I find it doubly interesting.

10. Text messages from Kyla and Mandy.

11. There is talk of our insane heatwave ending which is enough to make me do a happy dance. I love summer but 110-115 heat index with crazy humidity each day is just uncool.

12. Tomorrow is Friday.

13. Buying rainbow chocolate chip cookies to squash a craving I’ve been having for a few days.

14. I bought Scratchers tickets and one of them was a winnner! It’s a free ticket but hey, at least it’s a small return on my investment.

15. Watching New In Town, playing a mindless online game, and just relaxing. Who doesn’t like movies that are 90 minute romantic comedies which include Harry Connick Jr?

16. Hugs from Irish, a man who keeps giving even after he’s had an equally, if not more, stressful day than me.

Bullets on a Wednesday

* License Plate Renewals. So, not sure what it’s like in other states but Missouri doesn’t make it easy. Not only do we need to have the State Inspection completed, we also need to have our emissions tested (which I’m online with for cars that are older and not up to par), two years of personal property tax receipts (yeah, we pay taxes on our freakin car), insurance proof and then the State of MO paperwork they send you. The silver lining to the stupid stormcloud that is license plate renewal, which fortunately only comes around every two years is that they ran out of June license plates so they gave me July plates. Woohoo for an extra month of license plate validity! (It’s all in the small things!)

* 365 days. Irish and I made it to the one-year mark. In celebration we each took the day off. Despite the fact that we spent some time running personal errands (like licenese plate renewal, purchasing a new refrigerator and dropping off clothes at Goodwill) we had a leisurely brunch at our favorite breakfast place, watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (movie, not TV show), read, took a nap, and indulged in some delicious Mexican food, ice cream sundaes and saw The Proposal. Irish surprsied me with a a sweet card that brought me to tears and some really great earrings and the very same kind of flowers he brought to me on our first date. All in all, a very good day.

* Moving on up. So next week is the big move back into the parents house. I still have a lot of boxes to pack and I know it will be a pain but it’s definitely going to be easier for me. Currently I have stuff strewn about in three different places, I don’t have a sense of “home,” and I’m kind of tired of living out of suitcases. While I’ll still fauxhabitate with Irish being at my parents will allow me to feel grounded in one spot, get my “nest egg,” into good shape and oddly enough, allow me to relax at the same time. I’m a little nervous about giving up MY space and MY freedom but I think it will all work out.

* The Studies. After the move and after next week’s midterm, I’ll be making an appointment with my advisor to discuss my options. At this point I’ll either forge on and finish my MBA (I only have four classes to go) or switch tracks and get started on an MA in International Affairs. This is of course pending the financial aspect of it all which has yet to be determined. I feel good about my decisions and my changes so far; everyone (including my fabulous blogger friends, thank you all very much) have been incredibly supportive and positive. I’m excited to see what’s next!

* New Orleans. Two weeks from Friday I’ll be on my way south for a week, mainly for work but additional I plan to check out the Ghost Tour, the Book Tour, historical sites, cafes, bookstores, delicious food and I’ll probably wander around Bourbon Street again just for the experience. There’s a good chance EP and her boy will meet up with me and Irish for a day or so which means I don’t have to wait another year for a blogger meet-up!

So I’ve shared what I think you guys want to hear about but is there something I’m missing? Any questions you want to ask? Anything is fair game, so ask away. Leave a comment and I’ll post the answers!

Withdrew

I’ve never been a quitter.

I don’t give up easily.

I’m Sicilian for goodness sake!

So it’s no suprirse that the decision I made over the weekend, the one to withdraw from my Graduate Level Finance course was extremely difficult for me. Since the class started three weeks ago I’ve been spending 20-25 hours a week just on the reading and homework plus another hour or two on the weekly quiz, discussion boards and other random assignments. 

Math isn’t my strong suit and so I worked my butt off to pull off the A- I had earned up to this point which my professor told me via email (as this is an online course) that I wasn’t trying hard enough and that I needed to work harder.

I was having nightmares about not completing my Finance homework on time and correctly.

I was stressed all day, every day, felt like a giant weight was pushing my chest, and dreaded leaving the office for a ” date,” with my Finance book and notes.
I hardly had time to talk to Irish, let alone my other friends.

On Saturday, after a lovely day of (much-needed) shopping with Darling, I came to a few conclusions:
* Life is short. I shouldn’t be so stressed out over school.
* No one is telling me I need to graduate by December of this year; I brought that on myself.
* If I had my way, I’d switch gears and work torwards my MA in International Affairs, which is what I’m truly passionate about.
* There was no way I could take two courses, work and be “me,” this summer without going certifiably insane.

After a Cherry Slush at Sonic, a hefty purchase at Ann Taylor Loft (oh, the sales and cute, cute clothes I bought!) and some heart-to-heart time with Darling (who is my mom, for those of you don’t know), we went home to talk to my dad.

I didn’t want to drop my class and seem like a quitter or a weak person but I knew that if I continued on this path of little sleep, intense stress and supreme grouchiness that it would only get worse.

After talking to my dad calmly, and okay, with a few tears here and there as is he my go-to (besides Irish) for big life decisions, he said to me that my happiness is more important than a graduate degree. That most kids don’t finish a masters in two years like I had planned on doing. And he left me with a quote from his grandfather that certainly resonates: ”Don’t pick up a box unless you want to carry the load. And if you do pick it up? You can put it back down.”

I went online and emailed my professor my “thanks for assistance but that due to my professional workload and other course commitments that I am withdrawing from his course as I can’t complete it to my personal standards at this time.”

Then I officially  withdrew from the course and suddenly I could breathe again. 
(I am still taking one course this summer and while it’s demanding it’s not 20-hours-a-week demanding.)

I have a few other things to figure out with respect to my graduate studies but I learned a few things over the weekend: * That I have choices.
* That my family & Irish will always be there for me as counselors and for emotional support. (Okay, I already knew that but it’s nice to have it reinforced on occasion).
* That it’s okay to admit that you’ve taken on too much and to tone it down and that if the people you surround yourself with are your friends, they will understand.
* That sometimes it’s necessary to re-evaluate our choices and the path we have chosen and in doing so, we can make ourselves happier/less stressed/better off than we thought possible. 
 * You know you made the right decision when you are instantly happy.
* I already feel more like “me,” and that is really all that matters.