Miss Fix-It

12 Jun

I’m not entirely sure when it happened or became a part of who I am but I’m pretty sure it’s a permanent personality trait now and it’s currently in overdrive.

I seem to have an inherent need to take care of people, whether it’s my responsibility or not. Take ManMate, for example. We’ve lived together for two years. He’s paid me a fixed amount every month (which at first I was okay with) since we moved in together, meaning I have picked up the tab on the utilities, usually without complaint. When we started living together, he was a mess. Disorganized. Late for everything. You couldn’t count on him to save your life. Broke. Fashion-messy.

All our friends told me that it was my “duty,” to fix him up, make him marriage material. Somehow, I managed to get him halfway there: he has a very serious, steady girlfriend, he’s landed two awesome jobs (personal trainer and Boot Camp instructor), he shows up early to parties, class, work and other miscellaneous events and more.

Our time is coming to an end as roommates, or so I thought… in February he informed me he’d be moving out in June, so I made arrangements to be gone by July 1st. (My neighborhood is good, but not great. I’d rather not live there without a man.) Turns out he and the four girls he’s planning to live with didn’t get the house they had their eye on.

I already feel myself bending, wanting to stay until the end of our lease in August if it helps him out. He won’t have any furniture, he’ll have to pay all the utilities on his own (somehow).

I’ve done this Miss Fix-It thing throughout my past as well. I had a very dear friend in middle school who revealed his entire life to me (very sordid, very traumatic) and was contemplating suicide. I spent hours on the phone with him, listening to him cry, work things out in his head, consoling him, trying to convince him that the world would surely miss him. I came across a five-page letter he wrote me recently (I can be a bit of a packrat) and it was a genuine thank-you note for telling him not to end his life.

Almost all of my serious boyfriends needed to be saved from themselves in one form or another. Maybe I’m better at fixing them up and moving them on than I am in keeping them myself? I guess I pride myself on my listening abilities, giving different perspectives, talking things out. The last thing I would ever want is for someone I care about to feel alone, to hurt themselves, to feel trapped. Maybe I should have been a therapist instead, I don’t know, but sometimes I wonder if I will I stop being a Miss-Fix-THEM and work on maybe “fixing,” me?

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One Response to “Miss Fix-It”

  1. oh June 13, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    oh my.
    I know you’ll see your way to doing what you need and want to do regarding your apartment. I must recall here that you were voted “Best Shoulder to Lean on” in high school. A therapist? Maybe not as a profession, but you are truly the best friend a person could ever have. Hope Manmate knows that.

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