Going to HOME

30 Jun

Consider this my review of one of the newer so-called hot spots in the StL.

First of all, it’s not such a hotspot. You have to park in the casino parking garage and walk, without the guidance of signs, for quite sometime, on awkward cobblestone, before reaching the nightclub which is announced inside the casino without much fanfare.

There’s a large poster-sized sign that indicates “Dress code is STRICTLY enforced.” Really? Are you sure? Cause last time I checked Las Vegas bouncers didn’t let girls in cut-off jean skirts into their $23 million clubs. Or guys wearing Converse shoes.

The bouncer insisted on giving us his spiel about how much money the casino cost, how it’s owned by people in Vegas (may be true), there are over 1200 people on the guest list so we shouldn’t feel special and that are we 100% sure we don’t want bottle service? There was a three-step process to get into the bar. One guy checks IDs. Bouncer #2 lectures you on the classiness of the joint. Bouncer #3 checks your ID again. Kind of unnecessary if you ask me. And anti-climatic.

The dance floor? Small.

The DJs? Bad. Only in StL would they play Journey, the Jackson Five, and Vanilla Ice at a “hot spot.” I am not trying to be snobby but if you want to have a classy reputation, act like it. Play the right music. Stop blowing steam onto the dance floor when girls walk out and for goodness sakes stop with the strobe lights. I’ve been to Vegas. They don’t do that.

The clientele? An interesting mix of couples, bachelorette parties, birthday parties, more couples, girls in really tacky dresses, girls in great dresses, men in suits, men in jeans and the ubiquitous single guy who is there alone and leeches himself onto your group.

The drinks? Expensive. $5 beer. I’m not complaining much since we got in free (a $10 for women and $20 for men, in case you wanted to know). Funny how the bartender that I got stuck with is the guy who broke up with me years ago by changing his myspace status from “in a relationship,” to “single.” I didn’t much care that he was there, but you know that game, six degrees of separation? Well in StL it’s more like two. And you can’t go anywhere without seeing an ex. Or a friend from high school. Or college. Or that guy you randomly made out with. Let’s just say I’m glad I was tan and looking good last night, just because, you know?

The bathrooms? I know it’s an odd thing to blog about but rumor has it they spent over $1 million on each bathroom. They are fancy but nothing to really write home about. No seats, no lady to hand you a towel, offer you perfume or etc.

The general consensus of the night was: good for dancing to burn off the drink calories, bad for boy scouting, great for funny pictures, and we would all go back if we get in for free again AND no one has to drive. (I was the DD, which I’m fine with but yesterday was a reeallyy long day and I could have used a night to let my hair down.)

So all you out-of-towners, if you are coming to StL, don’t bother with HOME. There are many other places that are breathtaking and noteworthy. HOME isn’t one of them.


2 Responses to “Going to HOME”

  1. meldoesgradschool June 30, 2008 at 10:51 am #

    I really like the layout of this new blog, btw. But I have to agree with you about the importance of nice bathrooms, or of at least noticing them. There’s this really cool restaurant/bar in downtown Atlanta and it has the coolest bathroom I’ve ever seen… it’s all stone and cool lighting and automatic water and it’s just gorgeous. Totally makes the place seem extra classy. I think clubs with the best bathrooms are pretty awesome… and that should definitely get a category in your grading! :o)

  2. oh June 30, 2008 at 6:25 pm #

    OK, since we’re (kinda) on the bathroom topic, I’d like to single out the Loo at SAVOR on Lindell. The menu is pricey; the entrees are fine, I guess. But the Loo is extraordinary. Huge. Private cabinets with louvered doors. Far out ottoman in center of the room. Tilt-blinds at the huge windows. Room to dance if for some crazy reason it were absolutely necessary. Great colors and details. Plenty of sinks; not clinical type.
    Check it out. Don’t be lazy about going upstairs to get to it; if you’ve had a bit o’wine, the bannister is plenty 20th century to hang onto.

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