Bridal Shower Hell

29 Jul

Alright, normally I’m the bridesmaid who has no problems, no issues, no gripes with the other bridesmaids. Until now.

One of my very best friends who understands me in ways some of my other friends don’t is getting married in September. I’m in the wedding (duh). Her bridesmaids are scattered around the bi-state area, as is her current and future family. The solution? Three showers. One in Mid-Mo to which I’m attending because her family is awesome, those bridesmaids are totally chill; one here that I’m co-hosting and on in Illinois where her future family is.

So the one here is themed, of course, in the flavor of a Mexican Fiesta (Mel is not a super-bride/bridezilla chick. She’s totally low-key and could care less about flower arrangements or tea to which I say AMEN!), with elements of a pool party combined. At the outset I offered up a budget to the other girl I’m hosting with (who still lives at home, which is fine, but a key detail) and we agreed we could do a Mel-Friendly Shower with my budget and hers.

Well this other girl who shall remain nameless just in case tells her mom what we are doing regarding invites, food and etc and apparently her mom doesn’t like it. We are using this other girl’s house so of course they have a say but the whole entire plan has been transformed. We went from casual, cute, cheap invites to her mom purchasing the invites for us. (I know I shouldn’t complain about free but I had no say in the invites, what they look like, the color scheme.) The menu was decided on without my consent. Liqour choices were made. Table decorations have been purchased and designed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I want Mel to have the best shower ever but I’m kind of peeved that I wasn’t consulted in any of these things until after they were purchased. Is that wrong? I told this other girl it all sounded good but that I feel totally left out of the decision making process, wish I had been asked to tag along to see the invites and to let me know what I could do. That was a week ago. My emails and phone calls have gone unanswered.

I feel estranged from my own friends shower, one that I’m helping to pay for!

I know there is nothing I can do at this point but I swear, when I get married, just get us some wine, throw us in a room and I promise we’ll have a good time. I just want to be with my friends and family without the drama.


2 Responses to “Bridal Shower Hell”

  1. oh July 29, 2008 at 9:26 pm #

    Nothing like a control freak when it’s supposed to be a partnership!
    So, go along.

    But we could come up with some kind of fun thing/favor you could take to hand out at the shower for everyone and something special for Mel if you want!

    Above all, don’t let anyone (petty or otherwise) ruin your good time celebrating Mel. Try to book another time with her and a few other friends to celebrate her wedding your way. Let me know if you need help (please note, though, I’m a non-controlling mom.)

  2. meldoesgradschool July 30, 2008 at 7:28 pm #

    I definitely think you get to be peeved about that… it may not be the super-adult-thing to feel or all that helpful, but it is legit. Apparently this other girl missed the day of first grade where they taught us what equal or partners mean… I think a lot of people missed that day, which is kind of a problem. Hopefully the other girl and her mom at least did a good job so that Mel will have a pretty amazing shower, and you can be excited about that… at least this girl didn’t buy ugly stuff you have to pay for, or worse, ugly stuff you have to pay for and can’t afford! There’s always a bright side…. even if you have to struggle to find it! But good luck with this… other girl and her mom sound like a delightful team to work “with”!

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