Seriously?

12 Oct

A friend wrote me the other day saying she heard that I’m “dating a guy pretty seriously.”

I had to stop and think about that for a minute. I suppose she’s right but for some reason I can’t think about our relationship being uber-serious, not because I don’t want it to be, but that comes with a whole new set of rules, expectations, fears and even more vulnerability. I do much better just enjoying time with TDH, the three words, the fun dates, the days spent wandering around our city, discovering new things, discovering each other, laughing in bed, cooking him dinner, finding little ways to make him smile.

So while I suppose things are serious, it still throws me off as it’s been just shy of four months, and apart from me having a few girl episodes where I freak out about my vulnerability or him leaving me randomly (ah, the ghosts that haunt me from my past…will they ever leave?) things have been nothing but falling in love, smiles, joys, and absolute happiness. For someone who is used to the shit hitting the fan, it is hard to believe that I have found a good one, that he wants me and only me. I suppose on the flip side it may not be any easier for him to believe that I am in love with him, and only him. But I am. I guess it’s only fair to take him at his word.

As for the ghosts of my past, I’m learning to face them head on and tell them to take a hike. It’s working, perhaps a little slower than I would have liked, but I’m learning to love and trust again… isn’t that one of the greatest things we can do with our time on this planet? I certainly think so.

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2 Responses to “Seriously?”

  1. Kyla Bea October 13, 2008 at 9:55 am #

    Aw, that’s such a nice feeling.
    I’ve always found it hard to be secure in my relationships, but just enjoying things when you can is amazing.

  2. oh October 14, 2008 at 8:53 pm #

    YES!!!!

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