The Other

28 Oct

My friend KH lent me By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coehlo. I finished the book, a mere 160 pages perhaps, in less than two hours.

For those of you who haven’t read it: The book is about a boy and a girl, childhood friends, to be exact. They meet years later and the boy tells her that he loves her. The story is about her struggle to learn to love, to trust and to ignore The Other.

The Other is part of you, the self-doubting, worry-wart, warns against love, trust, relationships and men part. The Other is the part that keeps you from being happy, living your life, realizing the beauty in every day things: earth, sun, sky, water, birds, bees. The Other is our own worst enemy.

There are many, many beautiful passages in this book about love, life and God that really resonated with me but most of all I realize that I let what this book calls The Other dictate my mood more than it should. Blame the strength of my The Other on all the failed relationships, cheaters, disappointment, heartbreak, tears and etc that I’ve endured in the last five years of my dating life. Blame the strengh of my The Other on my weakness and not casting her off sooner.

I realized any doubts or worry or angst that I have about my really wonderful relationship with TDH is not about TDH as a boyfriend at all…it’s about me. It’s about The Other and how I let her rule my life sometimes, it’s about my insecurities. I will stand up against her, tell her to take a backseat, to drown out her noise with all the “I love yous,” and sweet text messages and little notes and pictures of happiness and moments of joy and zen I have with TDH. (Not to mention it’s just plain wrong to inflict harm on a positively awesome relationship with this man because of my past experiences.)

I will have faith in something higher than humans, whether its love, fate, destiny, or God. I will believe that this is for real because as Darling and KylaBea and Little Miss have pointed out I’m happy, I’m in a functional and wonderful relationship and I should enjoy it.

So if you see a woman who looks like me, wandering around, being negative and self-doubting, that’s my The Other. Just ignore her. She no longer has a home in me.

It may take some work and some inner strength that I will surely find, but I’ll be too busy being that ridiculously happy girl who is completely smitten, who has renewed her faith in love and trust. I will be enjoying my life, and this love, and this man and these moments, because after all, that’s what we are here for.


4 Responses to “The Other”

  1. anne October 28, 2008 at 11:50 am #

    Wow- thank you for letting us in on your epiphany and sharing it in such a beautiful way. I think as simple as the statement, “it’s not about TDH at all” is, it’s also very powerful.

  2. butterflycharlie October 28, 2008 at 3:27 pm #

    Everyone has The Other, its just finding its hiding places, what it does and what it says and then learning how to ignore it. It is really hard but it’s definitley not impossible. After reading The Alchemist I’ll have to give this a go. xx

  3. Aart Hilal October 28, 2008 at 3:46 pm #


    I’m a big fan of Paulo Coelho! You will love this! He’s the first best-selling author to be distributing for free his works on his blog:

    Have a nice day!


  4. oh October 28, 2008 at 10:07 pm #

    Would you post it on your blog that I am giving away 2 free copies of THE PINK PRAYER book? Here’s my blog url:

    Or, just copy my blog entry (above) and post it as one of your blog entries?
    Yeah, I really want to get this out there, thanks!

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