On Living with a Boy…

21 Nov

So an offer has been made (kind of) for me to live with a boy.
The question several of you have asked me: Would I?

Short Answer: Yes.

Long Answer: Yes, pending certain terms and conditions. (Not that I want this to sound like a business deal or legal agreement. I don’t mean it like that.) Considering I have never entertained the idea of living with any guy speaks volumes about TDH. And me. And our relationship. And where I am in my life. And, and, and…

Before I uproot myself again for, oh, the tenth time in the last six years, I’d want to know mentally and emotionally that there is a going to be a long-term commitment. I don’t mean that another question has to be asked before I move, just that I know that’s where we are headed. Sure, I realize things can change since life is made up of moving parts, but I won’t be one of those couples who is insanely happy yet they’ve lived together for seven years with no formal commitment (whatever that commitment may be). Some people are cool with. I am not.

I’d have to know that the house I’m moving into is now going to be considered my house too. That Jack would be welcome and his little idiosyncracies would be accepted. (He sleeps on his bed at night, but during the day? I know he sleeps on my bed.) I don’t want to feel like a guest or stranger in my new dwellings. It’s not longer my stuff vs. his stuff. It’s our stuff. However, I don’t want anyone to be offended if I write my name on my CDs, movies and books. It’s smart, just in case (enter the scene from When Harry Met Sally regarding fighting over books, coffee tables). Little Miss Independent Nora dies hard sometimes.

I’d have to know that some of my favorite pieces of furniture would have a home. The rest can be in storage, but some things I can’t live without. My pappasan chair, for one.

I’d have to know that my parents are okay with it, and quite frankly, his family too. Yes, I know we are grown-ups but I certainly don’t want to offend anyone or cause ripples in the calm waters.

I’d have to know that I could financially swing it; that the rent/utilities would make sense, along with groceries and etc.

I’d have to know that I won’t be the only one cooking/cleaning/keeping a clean house.

I’d have to know that there will be enough room for my over 40 pairs of shoes.

I’d have to know that I could have friends over for girls’ night and it not be an inconvenience.

I’d have to know that I could find a great gym nearby.

Most of all I’d have to know that if/when this happens, that we’re willing to take on any bumps, winds and curves in the road that we don’t expect.

I already know I love the guy. The rest will just (have to) work itself out.

And for your viewing pleasure, in my opinion one of the funniest/best fights on TV:

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9 Responses to “On Living with a Boy…”

  1. controversial1 November 21, 2008 at 12:17 pm #

    I comment on two types of blogs:

    1. People I know and where I believe the author reads the comments and might actually be looking for ideas and different takes.
    2. On rare occasion, joined in to reinforce others’ comments in their post. It is fruitless to argue with people in comments – or mostly anywhere on the internet – but sometimes it can be enjoyable (and, in a rare case, even constructive) to agree with other commenters.

    That being said, your posting struck a chord with me, well done!

  2. laylou November 21, 2008 at 12:47 pm #

    Controversial:
    Thank you for the note. Glad you enjoyed this post. I do read all comments and appreciate what everyone has to say!

  3. brookem November 21, 2008 at 12:58 pm #

    aww, aiden.
    i want to hug you and snuggle and um, make babies with you.
    cohabitating is a big step. it can be a good move for sure, but takes a lot of thought.

  4. laylou November 21, 2008 at 1:15 pm #

    Brookem:
    I know, isn’t Aidan (Aiden?) amazing?

    Well fortunately for me I overthink/overanaylze a lot, especially the big things. And it’s at least 9 months away, if not longer, which would mean we’d be together for over a year and a half by the time it happens.

  5. butterflycharlie November 21, 2008 at 2:09 pm #

    aargh how scary! Its such a big step – i think if i was ever to do something like that again i’ll end up squeezing all the romance and excitement about it by making him sign some kind of contract! I’m also a Little Miss Independent and I found trying to let go of that soooo hard!

    All the very best of luck in thinking and doing!!

  6. Scarlett November 21, 2008 at 2:32 pm #

    Good for you for having some guidelines. I feel the way you do about a lot of it. Living together is such a huge deal. I never wanted to do it without being married, but now I think if I were engaged and had a date set I would be OK. I know that sounds extreme, but I think that is just what I would need. As long as you know what you need (which you do) and follow that, you will be great! How fun is it to think about waking up with them every morning??? Such an exciting next step :)

  7. Nilsa November 21, 2008 at 2:50 pm #

    The fact you’re thinking about this step and not letting the fantasy of living with a boy take over shows extreme maturity. My only advice? Stay flexible and be willing to compromise. Because even if you have answers to all your questions, there will still be surprises. Take it from me, the girl whose boy used to clean HER condo and now rarely cleans OURS! (It should be noted, I’m a terrible cleaner, so I rarely clean ours, either).

  8. imogenc November 23, 2008 at 2:48 pm #

    Hey you. CONGRATS on the living together offer! Hadn’t realised until now (it’s been a crazy, hectic week).

    That’s,i>such a funny video. I’m addicted to S&TC, have watched it all like 6 times and still laugh aloud at it

    “You can stay here with your boxes of shit and your shoe-eating dog and you can knock yourself out putting on the Rogaine & the Speedstick” + Aidan’s face= HILARIOUS :lol:

  9. Little Miss Obsessive November 24, 2008 at 9:26 pm #

    Oh my god – that fight is hilar – the Rogain parts just kill me!

    Good for you for knowing what you are and are not willing to compromise on… I think that will make all the difference if you guys do decide to move in together. I think many times people don’t think it through enough. But yay, even though it would be months and months away it is very exciting that he brought it up and the thought it out there!

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