Pet Peeves: The Office Version

9 Dec

Most of us spend 40+ hours a week at our office and with our co-workers so at some point a few things are bound to grate on our every last nerve, right?

* Is there really a need to send an email and then come up to my desk within two seconds of sending it to ask me if I got it? It’s all very TPS Reports & Lumberg-esque.

* If you feel the need to have a conversation via speakerphone please close your door. I can’t tell you how many phone conversations I’ve heard in stereo because both parties have used spearkphone. I don’t need to hear about the special family fried chicken recipe your wife is using on dinner.

* Put your cell phones on vibrate or silent pretty please! Loud ringtones are disruptive to our clients and our work not to mention your cell phone ring is just a *tad* embarassing for a grown man to use.

* If you are sent an email by the HR Director and subsequently of the President asking you to close your doors when using speakerphone especially interoffice calls and asking you to put your cell phones on silent/vibrate, please do it. We aren’t asking to be rude, we are asking because it’s an issue affecting everyone in the darn office.

* If you spill something in the microwave, clean it up. We’re adults, not two-year olds.

* Don’t ask on a Monday if we have a “case of the Mondays.” Just assume we do and move on.

* Please don’t steal my stapler while I’m on vacation! I’m now going to bedazzle mine in pink sparkly sequins just to keep you from taking it. :) (Seriously, someone took my stapler while I was on vacation and didn’t return it. I know it’s not the end of the world but someone fishing around in my desk is kind of bothersome.)

Any pet peeves you’d like to get off your chest today?

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15 Responses to “Pet Peeves: The Office Version”

  1. Lisa D December 9, 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    Love this!

    My pet peeves:

    1. Not everyone wants to listen to your opera cd (or whatever the hell that is). There are these things called headphones. Use you g.d. 10% discount and go buy some for yourself.

    2. Please don’t go stealth and sneak up behind me when I am concentrating on something – it almost gives me a heart attack and is taking years off my life.

    3. If you want to call your husband and verbally berate him, go to a conference room. I don’t need to hear that. If you continue to do that, don’t be pissed when I slip you a divorce attourney’s business card.

    4. There are these things called Kleenexes. You blow your nose in them. Maybe you are trying to be green by snorting and sniffling that post-nasal drip back up into your nose, but it’s making me nauseous.

    Ok, I am obviously feeling snarky tonight so I am going to stop there. Great post. :) And seriously – who steals a freaking stapler???

  2. Erin December 9, 2009 at 10:16 pm #

    My pet peeves this week are about the parents of my students…

    1. Please don’t send your kids dressed for the blizzard of the century. They walk four feet from the bus into the school. Snow suits are just not necessary.

    2. Change your kids diaper before you send them to school. I can tell when I kids been sitting in his own poo for an hour.

    3. Don’t send your kid to school sick, and then yell when the nurse calls to say you have to pick him up.

    4. It’s really not funny when you kid strangles other kids. Not funny at all.

  3. mandy December 9, 2009 at 10:18 pm #

    LOVE this. I have the same pet peeve about speaker phone and cell phones. And the Monday thing.

    My big pet peeve they guy who thinks that just because he has a PhD he is more important than anyone else, GET OVER YOURSELF!!

  4. Margarita December 9, 2009 at 10:45 pm #

    OMG Please get your stapler bedazzled. I’ll pay for it. Seriously. Pet peeves? I have no clue, can’t think right now – spaghetti / wine coma.

  5. Amber from Girl with the Red Hair December 9, 2009 at 11:00 pm #

    HAHAHAHA, please, please, please bedazzle your stapler in pink sparkly sequins. That would be amazing.

    I actually don’t have very many problems with the people I work with (mostly because there are no men, haha) we are all pretty respectful of each other. My only thing is having the cell phones on because a shrill ringing cell phone can be really distracting. I ALWAYS keep mine on silent or vibrate when I’m at work!

  6. tabithablogs December 10, 2009 at 1:43 am #

    I agree with every last one of those. Particularly the speakerphone deal, because my cubicle is right next to a whole line of offices, and EVERY SINGLE office dweller within a twenty-foot radius seems to enjoy having serious business-type conversations on speakerphone, with their door open, and the volume turned ALL THE WAY UP. And the people on the other end are always those ladies with the squeaky voices or the guys who breathe really heavily into the phone.

    I think you hit my biggest office pet peeve, actually. I can’t think of anything worse right now. :)

  7. sleepyjane December 10, 2009 at 5:20 am #

    I LOOOOVE THIS!!!

    Pet peeves:

    My coworker listening in on my calls. It’s got NOTHING to do with you. And then she has the nerve to ask what it was about. Ugh!

    Making coffee for everyone and no one ever making for me.

  8. kilax December 10, 2009 at 7:02 am #

    LOL! I have a draft in my work email of annoying things like this. The first one really speaks to me – give me a chance to read the email, or approach me in a different manner. Maybe “hey, I just sent you an email, do you have time to chat?” Not, “DID YOU READ MY EMAIL?!!?”

    Some of the things on my list are people who always mark their emails as urgent, always call during lunch hour, and come over and touch my computer screen. Oh yes, and clipping the nails at work and singing at your desk. Very annoying.

    Lisa D’s kleenex comment REALLY cracked me up. The people who do that on the train drive me absolute bonkers!

  9. Megan/SomewhatVoluble December 10, 2009 at 8:28 am #

    The first one happens to me all the time. Oh!

    *Don’t clip your fingernails/toenails in your cubicle. (Someone is doing that RIGHT NOW.)

    *Stop asking why I’m leaving at 2:30. Every day, I come in early at 6:00, and I leave at 2:30.

  10. Emily Jane December 10, 2009 at 8:43 am #

    Totally with you on the microwave front. I even stuck a sign on it with “Microwave Cleaning 101” instructions (of the Dummies variety) on ours.

    And yes, you should totally sequin your stapler – OR order these!!

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/supplies/9866/

  11. Liz December 10, 2009 at 9:55 am #

    Now all I can think about is that guy in Office Space mumbling about his stapler…LOL!

  12. SoMi's Nilsa December 10, 2009 at 10:41 am #

    How about throwing one on the bosses. All employers need to make a sound-proof room where all the loud talkers can go sit when they have to be on the phone. Because sometimes, closing an office door doesn’t help.

  13. E.P. December 10, 2009 at 11:58 am #

    All of these happen to be office pet peeves of mine. So ridiculous.

    Another? Don’t watch YouTube videos at TOP VOLUME when you’re sitting five feet from me, then make me take all incoming questions and all assignments because your back hurts or you’re busy. Grrrr.

    Good thing I won’t have to deal with that crap anymore, huh?

  14. RootsAndRings December 10, 2009 at 2:25 pm #

    The woman in the office next to me keeps her cell phone on high and her ringer is Scooby Doo. Our office are made of glass. It is LOUDDDDDDDDDDDD.

    I also HATE when the men in the breakroom blow smoke in my face. (Construction company.. its different here.)

    My staple remover has my name written on it 4 times.

  15. Becky December 12, 2009 at 10:50 pm #

    Love this! I don’t have the problem with the cell phones because we can’t bring ours into the building I work in, but my biggest pet peeve (because of cubicles) is loud phone talkers. No one cares that the cat is still throwing up. Lower your voice or email you wife.

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