Letters: Junkpunch, April Showers, Fried Food and more

23 Mar

Dear Customer who is making my life crazy,

If you aren’t careful, I will fly out to see you just to do this:

A Young Professional who can’t seem to do anything right for you
Dear Graduate Level Finance,

Why must you be so complicated and difficult to decipher? I don’t do well with “if this, then this, but don’t forget about this and this” type math problems. Try not to be such a butthead for the next nine weeks. Also having to buy a financial calculator that I will never use again is just plain silly.


Attention: Spring
From: Nora & her Allegra Prescription
I admit, I’m excited for your return. April Showers. May Flowers. All that jazz. I’m not stoked about the prospect of having to carry around a box of tissues for the next two months while sneezing and wheezing. I guess it’s all worth it in the end if it means I can wear flip-flops though. Just try to be kind this year and don’t let everything bloom all at once?

Fried Food,

I’ve missed you these past twenty-something days during Lent. However, come Easter morning, I don’t think I’ll be letting you back in my diet much. It was fun, but I feel much better without you.

See you around,
The girl who likes it when her pants are too big for her

Barnes & Noble,
Thank you for being such a hospitable studying environment.
I’ve managed to learn to study with you a few times and leave without having purchased a new book. I wish I could say the same for the delicious drinks you sell. I don’t stand a chance when I see that you offer the Blended Creme Double Chocolate Chip beverage.

– The girl who loves all things chocolate

Dear Johnny (Depp),
I’ve always been a big fan. I’ve loved you when you’re playing a crazy, drunken pirate, a guy with scissors for hands, gangster or a mad hatter who wears more make-up than I’ve ever put on in my life. However, I have to express my displeasure with the fact that you’re doing a movie with Angelina Jolie. Please don’t let her steal you away from your fabulous longtime girlfriend, children and French Chateau. She seems to turn everything she touches into drama and problems.  And don’t be surprised if you don’t see me there during opening weekend.

With Love,
One of your biggest fans

Dear World,
I still want to open up a free hugs store.  There’s too much heartbreak and sadness in the world and sometimes I like to think that with a little Dave Matthews Band music and a lot more hugs, things could be better. I know, I’m a huge hippie. Deal with it.

Peace & Love,

Any letters you’d like to write today?


21 Responses to “Letters: Junkpunch, April Showers, Fried Food and more”

  1. Kyla Roma March 23, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    A free hugs store? I nominate myself as your assistant manager. =) You’re *adorable*.

    I would like to write a letter to Mister’s allergies, urging them to stay in check with spring on the way because he’s in the same boat as you. And I’d also like to write a letter to our river: please don’t crest too high. I hate sandbags.

  2. Erin March 23, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    Dear Rude, Judgmental People,

    What I do with my boobs, my body, and my baby…well, that’s all MY business. I don’t need you lecturing me about nursing, or condemning me for returning to work when my babies are born. Suck it.



  3. mandy March 23, 2010 at 8:34 am #

    I agree, a free hugs store would be awesome.

    Dear Nora,

    I don’t tell you nearly often enough, but I’m really grateful for your friendship. It means the world to me.

    Your Friend Who Can’t Wait To Meet Up In Real Life

    Dear Potential Employer,

    I need a new job, one in which I can thrive and one in which I can feel a part of something again. I think professionally the position in your organization would take me to a new level. I’m realy for that. Please call soon.

    The One Who’s Right For The Job

  4. Margarita March 23, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    I LOVE the junkpunch. I love What Happens in Vegas.

    Very cute letters btw, I agree that a hug store is necessary in these times. :)

  5. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks March 23, 2010 at 9:11 am #

    Awww, letters. Love posts full of juicy letters. I think we learn more about a person through letters than through long posts. Sometimes. =)

    Dear Universe:
    Please make this week fly by. Faster than it has. I mean it. I’ve been waiting since last July for this vacation and I really need this weekend to arrive. Now.
    Love ya!

  6. Habbala March 23, 2010 at 9:53 am #

    Dear Nora,
    I laughed out loud when I saw one of your letters was to Johnny Depp.


  7. Amy --- Just A Titch March 23, 2010 at 11:37 am #

    Dear Universe,

    I’m not quite sure where you want me right now, what with my job situation and other issues. Could you please make that path apparent and ya know, get me started down that road?



  8. Holly March 23, 2010 at 11:52 am #

    Everything is better with a little DMB music!

  9. angelaminicuci March 23, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    Free hug store, count me in! I could use a good hug soon.

    Dear Mr. Right:
    Why haven’t I met you yet? Please ride in to my life on your horse and in shining armor sometime soon, I think about you all the time.
    Your soulmate

    To Whom It May Concern:
    The healthcare bill has been signed, I’d appreciate it if I could log into my Facebook without reading 57.5 posts about hating Obama. Let’s try to make the best of the situation and see where it goes, eh?
    Obvious Democrat but too passive to fight with you

    Love your posts, Nora!

  10. Akirah March 23, 2010 at 4:07 pm #

    If you’ve read my last post, you know all about it. Ha!

  11. bellerenee March 23, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

    Dear Nora,
    I love that you’re a huge hippie. Let’s dance barefoot together and burn incense and give free hugs. Congrats on giving up fried food. You’re a stronger woman than I.

  12. katelin March 23, 2010 at 6:32 pm #

    dear nora,

    i feel your need for kleenex. i went through half a box yesterday. this is just not fun. but wearing dresses is nice :)


  13. Ally March 23, 2010 at 8:27 pm #

    Dear Nora,

    I want to scratch my eyeballs and that can only mean one thing: spring is arriving. Pass me a tissue?

    Your bloggy friend,

    P.S. I’m totally on team Aniston, even though that ship sailed many moons ago. Angelina had better leave Johnny unharmed.

  14. Jessica March 23, 2010 at 9:35 pm #

    Oh man, if you open a hugs store, I will be a repeat customer. I hope you have a frequent customer card. Love the letters.

  15. Amber from Girl with the Red Hair March 23, 2010 at 9:58 pm #

    Dear Eric

    I love you a lot, but adjusting to living with a boy again is making me GO CRAZY. Please put the toilet seat down and your socks in the hamper NOT on the floor. K, thanks?

    Love always (even when you use 4 cups in one day)

  16. OG March 23, 2010 at 11:15 pm #

    Dear Nora,

    I cannot wait to use the phrase “junk-punch him in his man-business”. Also, I will have to check out barnes and noble…I am currently using panera as my study spot – they don’t even care that I only buy dinner once out of every 3 times I’m there.



  17. Lisa from Lisa's Yarns March 24, 2010 at 8:14 am #

    Awesome post. I might be first in line at your free hug stand!

    I agree about Depp starring w/ Angelina Jolie. I’ve always said that she ‘puts the Ho in home wrecker’. I despise her, actually…

    There are a few people I’d like to junkpunch as well…

  18. risha; March 24, 2010 at 11:13 am #

    I stumbled upon your blog while link-hopping. I’m glad to have- what a fantastic post!

    I agree, a free hugs store is a fantastic idea. I would volunteer from half-way across the world.

    Dear Internet,

    You Rock.

    That’s all.

  19. Lys March 24, 2010 at 2:02 pm #

    yes please. junk punch J’s mom for me. thank you.

  20. Her March 25, 2010 at 1:42 pm #

    Free hugs! I like this.

    Dear thighs,

    I’m so sorry you hurt, but it’s time for you to go away. For serious.



  1. a sweet deal… « Jens World - March 25, 2010

    […] Nora because everyone knows chocolate helps with studying… […]

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