Top Three DDs: Mexican Food, Black Crow & Popped Collars

26 May

It’s taken me awhile to get this final installment of my Top Three Dating Disasters because I have so many of them, it’s tough to choose just one that’s the absolute worst. As far as I’m concerned I have three that tie for first place. I’ll let you be the judge as to which one is the worst.

Worst Date Ever #1: A dude that I met through work. Intelligent, a go-getter, similar interests. First few dates were uneventful until the fourth. He suggested I choose the restuarant and considering Mexican is my favorite food and usually perfect for a date, I choose one of the best in StL. When I share my choice with the dude, he starts cursing, telling me he won’t take me to that f*ng restaurant because it’s the worst and how dare I ask him to take me to that f*ng place. Under no circumstances will he take me to that restaurant ever. After his very loud, very sudden outburst, we venture to another Mexican restaurant where I have a serious allergic reaction to guacamole (the first time that ever happened to me). A week later he shows up to my office to tell me that he was “kidding” when he cursed at me about my choice of Mexican restaurants. Never heard from him again.

Worst Date Ever #2: This dude was a painter and single father. After a few dates, I attended his work party with him. Evidently this guy decided to tell his friends that I was a rich bitch (how polite of him) and not one single person would speak to me all night. The party was one of those free food and drink deals, so I started throwing back a few beers, watching the baseball game and just relaxing (as much as possible). After the work party, we went to another bar to meet up with a friend of his. Dude decided to ditch and left me sitting with his friend who immediatley began to interrogate me about my intentions, quizzing me about my ability to raise a child, hammering me with questions about my domestic abilities and threatening to make my life miserable if I didn’t treat his friend well. If I had my own car, I would have up and left but sadly I was stuck waiting for dude. When he dropped me off, he had the audacity to ask if he could “get some.” I should mention that when we left for this date, a black crow ran smack dab into the windshield. Next time I’ll pay more attention to the omen.

Worst Date Ever #3: Blind First Date. Innocent dinner at Cheesecake Factory. He sports a popped collar, leans across the table and tells me that he wants to “eat me up.” Takes a bathroom break but not before talking to the waitress and telling her that I’m not allowed to leave. He literally runs back to the table to make sure I’m at the table. Proceeds to drown me in text messages that night, greeting ecards the following days and reminding me that he wants “devour me.”

You be the judge! Which date do you think is the worst and should receive the title of Nora’s Top Dating Disaster?

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32 Responses to “Top Three DDs: Mexican Food, Black Crow & Popped Collars”

  1. Maddy May 26, 2010 at 8:26 am #

    Oh my Gosh!! How terrible! I was lucky enough to bypass a lot of the dating horror stories (my husband and I started dating very young), but I’ve heard some terrible ones from my sister! I hope there were some great ones in there too!

  2. Lauren from Texas May 26, 2010 at 9:26 am #

    Oh. Oh my goodness. Where do you FIND these people, woman?!?!?!

    #3 is the creepiest. But it’s so close to a tie I can hardly think straight.

  3. ria May 26, 2010 at 9:32 am #

    oh wow! those are all pretty bad but i think i’d have to pick the second one. at least the first guy you never heard from again!

  4. Manderz May 26, 2010 at 10:02 am #

    Oh it is hard to pick from those. #3 sounds creepy, but I’m torn between #1 and #2 for the worst. I certainly hope you received a lot of good karma for all of these though.

  5. Margarita May 26, 2010 at 10:24 am #

    I think #2 is freaking me out. That’s such an uncomfortable and awful situation. #2. FTW! (is that appropriate?)

  6. Megan May 26, 2010 at 11:15 am #

    Wow, these are all so horrible that I can’t make a decision! #1 was definitely a jerk with his outburst, but #3 was just plain creepy.

  7. OG May 26, 2010 at 11:25 am #

    I think number 2 has to win, although 3 is a close second. #1 is probably more about the guy than the date. I always enjoy reading stories of dating disasters, I like seeing what the female persepective is on certain aspects of the date so I know what not to do :)

  8. Ben May 26, 2010 at 11:33 am #

    Number two is the worst, hands down!

  9. Habbala May 26, 2010 at 11:50 am #

    I vote 2. If only because the crow into the windshield thing. I LOL’d.

  10. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks May 26, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    I just want to know if Date #2’s friend was interrogating you about your mothering and domestic abilities because Date #2’s child needed parenting or he did!!!???

  11. OurLittleAshley May 26, 2010 at 12:04 pm #

    Oy.

    I do not envy your crazy dating stories, but I DO think you have some really entertaining stuff here. :)

    I have no idea which is worse. It’s bad that these MEN EXIST!

  12. Becky May 26, 2010 at 12:22 pm #

    Oh MY gosh! Like others have said, so hard to choose but I would say #2 was the worst because you couldn’t escape!!!

  13. jen May 26, 2010 at 12:50 pm #

    i think for shear uncomfortableness my vote is #2…but i would have to give a big EWWWW to all three!!

  14. Lisa from Lisa's Yarns May 26, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

    OMG. I do not even know how to pick. Those are horrendous! I’ve gon nothing on you in terms of bad dates. Yowza. these make my bad dates look like a walk in the park.

    If I had to choose, I’d say #2 mostly becuase you were trapped. And teh whole black crow omen thing is pretty hilarious…

  15. Mel May 26, 2010 at 3:37 pm #

    #2, no questions asked. You were completely trapped. What. An. Asshole. I have a shorter fuse and I probably would have gone up to the date and told him to take me home. Then I would have reamed his ass for letting that happen. Pretty much.

  16. Amber from Girl with the Red Hair May 26, 2010 at 4:14 pm #

    Hmmm, I kind of want to lean towards #1 – well, #2 is TERRIBLE too – but #1 is just SO FREAKING RANDOM. Freaking out about a restaurant?! Really buddy!!?

    Geesh, thanks for sharing, at least you can kind of see the humour in these stories now ;)

  17. Tabitha May 26, 2010 at 6:18 pm #

    For some reason #2 really struck me as decidedly the worst, although all three are definitely UP THERE in the crappy date category. :-P

  18. Tabitha May 26, 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    PS I just looked through the other comments and it looks like #2 is the winner. Also? Nilsa’s comment is AWESOME.

  19. AshleyD May 26, 2010 at 8:29 pm #

    Okay so my first reaction was that #3 was the worst, because hello creeper. But then I thought about it and #2 wins. He was a jerk for talking about you to his co-workers and then leaving your stranded with his rude friends. I would have been miserable. Ugh, how are there so many of these horrible guys out there? I don’t get it!

  20. Jessica May 26, 2010 at 8:53 pm #

    Um number two is the winner. I would have punched that guy in the face. Actually, I would have punched all of them, but that guy is the real loser.

  21. Akirah May 26, 2010 at 10:07 pm #

    Those are all bad. I seriously cannot decide.

  22. mandy May 27, 2010 at 8:03 am #

    I dont know that I can pick one. I think they are all horrible! Ugh, the bad dates.

  23. hannahkaty May 27, 2010 at 9:00 am #

    I have to vote for number 3 and I have one reason for picking that guy: ecards.

    Yikes.

    Best,

    Hannah Katy

  24. A Little Coffee May 27, 2010 at 11:18 pm #

    Definitely #2. All of them sound horrendously awful though!

  25. Veronica May 28, 2010 at 4:01 am #

    I can see why you posted all three. I couldn’t pick… I really couldn’t. They are all just horribly wrong in their own right.

  26. Liz May 28, 2010 at 12:45 pm #

    #2 sounds like the worst. It gives me the creeps just reading it. WTF is wrong with some people?

  27. Suburban Sweetheart May 28, 2010 at 11:24 pm #

    Oh my God, these are all heinous. I think the last one is the worst only because it would’ve made me feel the most violated. The others are obnoxious & awkward but not vile, though the single father should’ve known what “getting some” can result in, being a single father in all. Also, classy.

    YIKES.

  28. E.P. May 29, 2010 at 10:28 am #

    Girlfriend, you could write a BOOK with all of these dating disasters. I just… wow. Why are guys so dumb sometimes?

  29. oh May 30, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    Oh yeah, #2. Honestly, with the crow, I would have asked to get out of the car immediately. But, you know about me and crows!

  30. Emily Jane May 31, 2010 at 1:42 pm #

    Oh goodness!! #3, hands down!!

  31. Peter DeWolf June 4, 2010 at 10:19 am #

    I think legally you’re allowed to slap any dude sporting a popped collar.

  32. Kathleen June 10, 2010 at 10:42 am #

    Number two is just terrible, but number three would make me want to change my name.

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