Letters: Russell Brand, Fish Wire, Libraries, Knees and more

7 Jun

Dear Russell Brand,

Thank you for being hilarious in Get Him to the Greek. After wrestling with advanced corporate finance for a day, it was just what I needed. I’ve developed a new crush on you, your accent and your eyeliner-wearing self. Please do a comedy tour and come to StL.

With adoration,
Nora

*************

To: Rude, Loud Neighbor
From: Nora, the eternal Hippie

It has recently come to my attention that you have strung fishing wire above your pool and deck area in an attempt to keep (trap?) ducks from coming into your pool area. We live in suburbia with trees, ponds, shrubs so it’s only natural that we will have ducks. It’s one thing to not like them; it’s an entirely different beast if you try to kill/harm them. Have you thought about the noise, pain and mess the ducks will make if they are trapped? I’m incredibly disgusted. Animals were here first, then humans. Consider that before you continue to concrete your entire backyard.

*************

Attention: Left Knee

It’s been about five weeks of physical therapy and overall, you’re showing great signs of improvement. I appreciate your cooperation and willingness to work hard to allow me to exercise again. However, this little bit of inflamation and setback for no good reason? It’s not ok. Exercise is my release. It’s how I get through the work weeks. Sure, I’m learning to cope in other ways but let’s commit to getting 100% better. I’d like to run a few 5ks later this summer, so let’s work towards that shall we? Keep up the good work and keep the eye on the prize.

Yours in Exercise,
Nora

*************

Dear St. Louis Libraries:

I’m pretty excited about the adult reading challenge you have in place this summer. Chances to win Barnes & Noble gift cards? Sign me up. I also love that you have a book club and have increased the new releases section. My only request: plesae be open on Sundays and maybe consider some outdoor seating for the lovely summer nights we have?

Always,
Book Addict

************

To: Summer
From: Nora

Please don’t disappear within a blink of an eye. My weekends now through mid-July are filling up and sadly my days are spent within the walls of corporate America but I’d really like to have some lazy summer days and really enjoy you. Try to stick around as long as you can.

************

Dear Jack,

Your sixth birthday is coming up in July. I can’t believe we’ve shared six years together already; you’ve been such a loving, happy, spunky, adorable dog. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and waiting for me by the door each evening. Adopting you was one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made.

Love,

Your Dog Mamma

***********

Any letters you want to write today?

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22 Responses to “Letters: Russell Brand, Fish Wire, Libraries, Knees and more”

  1. Becky June 7, 2010 at 7:06 am #

    Oh I’m so jealous about the library challenge where you can win B&N gift cards – tell us more!!

  2. Kyla Roma June 7, 2010 at 7:16 am #

    I hope your knee calms down, that must be so frustrating! Would swimming be an option for you if you’re looking for another way to work out?

    And I hope that summer doesn’t leave us too quickly too- I can’t believe it’s already June!! Soon it’ll be October! If it does move too fast, lets just go to Mexico. Deal? =)

  3. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks June 7, 2010 at 7:25 am #

    Y’know, this list of letters isn’t half bad. If it reflects the gripes in your life, I’d say you’re doing mighty fine, my friend!

  4. mandy June 7, 2010 at 7:54 am #

    I love that your library has an adult reading challenge. I wish ours would! I hope your knee continues to get stronger and that you’re able to conquer the 5K’s. I absolutely agree about summer. Let’s pinky swear to enjoy every last drop of summer daylight and some of the nighttime too!

  5. alliecakes June 7, 2010 at 8:34 am #

    Good letters! :) I’m SO excited it is Summer also and hope it does not go by too fast! I have a lot going on which is great but do not want to blink and it be Fall already!

  6. bellerenee June 7, 2010 at 9:08 am #

    My kitty’s 8th birthday was last week! It’s incredible how quickly time flies when you’re spending it with a furry friend.

  7. Lisa from Lisa's Yarns June 7, 2010 at 9:09 am #

    That is so cool that your library has an adult reading challenge! And B&N gifts are the prizes? That’s fantastic! :)

    Here’s my letter:

    Dear Whatever ailment has taken over my body,

    I think you might be a sinus infection, but you have the weirdest symptoms. Please cooperate with the antiobiotics I am taking and go away asap. I would like a nausea- and headache-free day for a change. You’ve hung around for over a week now so have overstayed your welcome.

    Sincerely,

    Your Pill Popping Detainee

  8. Emily Jane June 7, 2010 at 9:50 am #

    Aw I hope your knee feels better – and I LOVE Russell Brand, he’s hilarious. He was on an episode of a comedy quiz show I watch called “Have I Got News For You” once – you should YouTube it, he’s great! And guyliner = <3

  9. Erin June 7, 2010 at 10:00 am #

    Wow! I can’t believe Jack is going to be 6. Rufus turns 5 this year, which is totally mind-boggling.

  10. hannahkaty June 7, 2010 at 10:06 am #

    Love this idea. So cute. Might have to steal the concept one day for a post, but don’t worry- totally crediting you.

    Hope all is well. Take care of that knee!

    Best,

    Hannah Katy

  11. Alesia June 7, 2010 at 10:40 am #

    I have a completely inappropriate crush on Russell Brand.

  12. Jenn June 7, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    I second your letter to Russel Brand. It’s horribly offensive, but I love when he sang African Child. He cracks me up. I would like to makeout with his face.

    P.S. What plug-in do you use to make your blog mobile-friendly?

  13. Elizabeth June 7, 2010 at 11:15 am #

    I’ve been really wanting to see Get Him to the Greek–I’ll have to make that happen!

    I hope your knee settles down okay. I don’t approve of inflammations holding you back.

    Enjoy your reading challenge! It sounds like a great program!

  14. Amber from Girl with the Red Hair June 7, 2010 at 11:57 am #

    Dear Kamloops Weather,

    What are you doing? We are supposed to have the hottest summers in all of Canada yet you’ve been raining for TWO weeks non-stop. Please straighten yourself up and get back to normal asap.

    Wet-ingly yours,
    Amber

    Dear Strep Throat,

    If this second round of antibiotics doesn’t get rid of you once and for all what will? Can you please just go away during marathon training. You can come back in November and we’ll spend a week in bed. Promise.

    Amber

  15. ria June 7, 2010 at 12:51 pm #

    can i sign your letter to summer because i feel exactly the same way!

  16. butterflycharlie June 7, 2010 at 1:56 pm #

    Oh no! You’ve succumbed to Russell’s charms! I used to produce his radio show when he was on my network and I lost count of the amount of groupies I had to push out of the building! I even had to bring my mum in to work with me once because she had a massive crush on him. Very worrying…

  17. Jessica June 7, 2010 at 8:22 pm #

    Oh my gosh I love you say you’re a dog mama. So cute! Also, Russel Brand was hilarious in GHTTG but PDiddy killed it too!! One scene had me laughing hysterically.

  18. Jessica June 7, 2010 at 8:41 pm #

    My library has a similar challenge! So cool!

  19. Sarah June 8, 2010 at 12:45 pm #

    Oh my God your neighbour is horrible! Who does that kind of thing? That’s atrocious!

    I thought the outdoor seating area for the summer at your local library was a very good idea – have you suggested it to the librarians?

    And I hope Summer lasts a good while, too. I’m counting on it!

  20. Ashley June 8, 2010 at 1:37 pm #

    I understand the Russell Brand love, but not quite the crush. Maybe it’s just a matter of time for me, though.

  21. Suburban Sweetheart June 8, 2010 at 6:48 pm #

    I love these, Nora. They’re always so good!

    I’d like to wrote a letter to my new job. Dear new job: Please don’t suck…

  22. imogenc June 9, 2010 at 9:56 am #

    Your “neighbor” letter hit a sensitive cord…

    I’ve been having similar trouble with a rude, animal-hating, middle-aged housewive (and some kittens) lately :(

    Just wish everyone could simply love (or at least respect!) animals, like we do. Feel free to call me a dreamer :P

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