Hurdles, Fences and Walls

26 Jan

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.” – Maya Angelou

There are some relationships that I’ve been it where it has been barrier after barrier, issue after issue: where all signs pointed to STOP! DO NOT PASS GO! Sometimes I gave in early, knowing there would be no point. Other times I forged on thinking something would change only to wind up heartbroken and maybe a little bitter. I learned my lesson.

Even though history repeats itself, there is bound to be something that will break the mold.

Like with Knight.  First, we have the distance. You’d think that would be a huge barrier, especially to begin a relationship in a long-distance state. Some said it couldn’t be done. But it can. You just have to want it, and we both do. 

I knew the night that I met Knight that not only did we live six hours from one another but that he was divorced and an amazing father to two adorable little girls. I talked to him anyway. The spark was undeniable.  I wasn’t worried about the divorce, the kids, and his “story.” I was more worried about if I’d see him again. 

I remember he said to me as we sat by the fire “I have two girls.” My response? “I know. I have a dog.” Not that I think a dog and children are the same at all, don’t get me wrong, but my point was that we all have something… children, pets, a house that we can’t sell, baggage from previous relationships. It’s there.  And those things shouldn’t stop us from falling in love with someone that we can’t stand to be away from.

I knew the story behind the divorce; his story is not mine to tell but trust me when I say that he did the best he could in a not so awesome situation, came out stronger and better for it on the other side.  

I also knew that I’d meet the girls and would fall crazy in love with them, would fall even more in love with Knight watching him as a father, and that all my worries about the girls liking me would melt away. I’ve spent several weekends with Knight and the girls and it just feels right. They may not ever be my kids, but it feels like this entire situation from meeting Knight when I did, to him having gorgeous daughters, to falling in love with a tall, dark and handsome man… it all just feels right.  (Well for those things and about 10,000 other reasons. Like how much Knight loves dogs and has totally captured Jack’s heart. How well he gets along with my brother and my family. How awesome his family is. He always leaves one of his shirts for me every time he leaves which always smells like him. He watched Glee with me. He has seen, by his own accord, “You’ve Got Mail,” and actually liked it. He’s patient if I ask questions about sports. He loves the St. Louis Cardinals. He knows I love jewelry from Tiffany’s and actually bought some for me. He doesn’t laugh at me for liking Twilight… yet. He knows his way around a grill and makes a mean steak. He loves Mexican food just as much as I do. He gives me butterflies every time he calls, texts or shows up at my door.)

So while the distance and other things may seem like barriers to some, they have in fact brought Knight and me closer. Maybe because we are both willing to jump over walls and tall buildings to be with the each other, or maybe because some things don’t matter nearly as much as one would think when you’re in love.  Or maybe it’s because we’re up front, honest and have crazy, awesome, serious conversations from the beginning of our relationship to this day that have left me grinning from ear to ear, knowing that we are both on the same page in terms of life and what we want out of it in all aspects. All of this and so much more have me incredibly excited for what the future will hold for me and Knight.

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28 Responses to “Hurdles, Fences and Walls”

  1. Lisa from Lisa's Yarns January 26, 2011 at 6:36 am #

    Aw, I love this post!! So well written, my dear! I think as we age and grown and learn, we realize that sometimes really crappy things happen to really good people – like Knight. From day one, I have never had a concern about him because it is so obvious how happy he makes you and how well he treats you – and THAT is what counts.

    So excited for you two and all that is to come!!

  2. Megan January 26, 2011 at 6:39 am #

    Love! Sounds like you have an absolutely beautiful relationship with Knight.

  3. jen January 26, 2011 at 6:57 am #

    YaY!!! those are exactly the same feelings i went through/go through with my now husband-the background divorces, the kid, the distance…but if you really feel it in your gut there is no denying the great relationship!

  4. Becky January 26, 2011 at 8:01 am #

    Yes yes yes yes! Love this! This is exactly what I mean when I tell people long-distance relationships can not only work but thrive! So happy for you two!

  5. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks January 26, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    The fact that you each embrace the important things in each other’s lives is really key here. If you dismissed that he has kids or if he didn’t like dogs, but you continued dating, I think there’d be red flags all over the place. But, that’s not the case. You each have adult responsibilities that you have to incorporate into your relationship … the fact you’re thinking about it and making mature choices to do so is impressive. I hope for great things for all of you! xoxo

  6. Maddy January 26, 2011 at 8:49 am #

    I’m so happy that you’re happy! New relationships can be a scary thing, but I also know that if you reall ylisten to your gut, it will never steer you wrong :)

  7. AshleyD January 26, 2011 at 8:51 am #

    I’m so happy you posted this. And I’m so happy for you and Knight. I love that your love for him shows through your writing. *Hugs* :)

  8. Amy January 26, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    So happy for you, lady.

  9. Lauren January 26, 2011 at 10:07 am #

    I’m so happy for you and so happy that you were willing to “go for it” even with all of the things you listed above. I’ve been a huge proponent of the long-distance relationship is that’s how things turn out for two people who really like each other. Rarely do I meet someone (else) who is willing to take that step forward and make it work. It’s awesome that you did!

    Isn’t is fantastic when the things you envisioned happening don’t happen at all? It’s the best because suddenly you realize that there is BETTER than what you had thought of as perfect.

  10. mandy January 26, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    This post makes my heart burst with happiness for you and the Knight. I knew I would like him from the start — just hearing you talk about him, how he is with the girls, and how sweet he his. So glad that you are able to talk your way through the past, the distance, and into the future.

    (P.S. The Knight officially had my stamp of approval when you told me he had read Gone With the Wind. Any man who willingly reads that book has got to be awesome.)

  11. Amber from Girl with the Red Hair January 26, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    Love everything about this post. And, as you know, I 100% agree that long-distance is no problem if both parties want it. I am a firm believer it makes relationships stronger.

    So happy that you are so happy! Hope I get to meet you AND Knight one day :)

  12. Rachel January 26, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    i LOVE this, and you. i’m so happy that you’re happy and i wish you all the best on your journey together. <3

  13. Ben January 26, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    Ummm so all I want to do is say how proud I am of you for this post and the entire situation but then I’m like, who the hell am I to say I’M proud of YOU for something that has nothing to do with me. But still…I kinda am.

  14. Heather January 26, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    I love this so much. I’m so so so happy for y’all :D You are both so lucky to have one another.

  15. bellerenee January 26, 2011 at 10:35 am #

    There’s something exhilarating about being all in, isn’t there? Before I met Joe, I always felt as though I had one foot out the door, just in case. But when we started dating, I knew I was all in, I was going to do this relationship balls out, no hold barred, because he was THAT worth it.

    It turned out okay. ;-) Love you, doll. Love that you’re so happy.

  16. Habbala January 26, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    I am proud of you. And I love you. And I’m really happy I am one of the people who you trust to know the gritty things before they’re posted. You’re amazing.

  17. Erin B. Inspired January 26, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    Nora, I love this post. How wonderful for you! When J and I split up, I tried to convince myself that I didn’t need him and that my life was better without him. But I was wrong. When we saw each other again after months, I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms and I was elated when he felt the same way. It’s nice to just know it’s right even if there are hurdles to jump, fences to climb, or walls to knock down.

    Oh, and I also know that no one will ever love my puppies as much as he does. When he started coming back around, he said, “They’re my kids, too.” I knew then he had to stay. ;)

  18. Liz January 26, 2011 at 11:17 am #

    It’s nice to finally see you happy again. :) Yay for Knight! Yay for Love!

  19. Meredith January 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    What an amazing post! It sounds to me like you are head over heels, and I’m so happy for you!

  20. Stephany January 26, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    Oh, this post is great! I love it! I love how I can literally feel the love you have for Knight pouring through my computer screen. I think you’ve found a keeper. :)

  21. katelin January 26, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

    this is seriously so mushy and adorable and cute and just aw. seriously yay.

  22. phampants January 26, 2011 at 9:13 pm #

    This post makes me all bouncy and happy for you. I’m not even vomiting in my mouth. #totallymanly

  23. K January 27, 2011 at 11:16 am #

    sounds absolutely amazing to me! Congrats on finding your knight :)

  24. Manderz January 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    What a wonderful post. It’s so refreshing to see you tackle the “obstacles” up front and seeing how everything is flourishing because of it.

  25. ria February 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm #

    aw i love this post. all relationships have their own hurdles and as long as you know that it feels right that is all that matters. so happy for you! *hugs

  26. Ashalah February 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    My heart just bursts for you! Nothing can come in the way if it’s right. SO SO happy for you and Knight.

    Oh and be expecting an email soon :)

  27. Grace February 9, 2011 at 11:55 pm #

    My boyfriend is divorced and has a little girl too. It’s challenging and wonderful. I hope that everything continues to be as beautiful and happy as it is now.

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